Turn back time
by LittleNK
Summary: The Touyas meet Hikaru's doctor. The truth about Hikaru and Sai reveals. Sai is another Hikaru? What do you mean by that? Chapter 1-7 BETAED!
1. His Return

Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no GO but Obata and Hotta Yumi do.

**Warning : If you hate a drama story, this fic isn't the right one for you.** If you like a cute fic, I recommend other 2 fics by me" I'll be back" and " Finding Seiji".

**A/N :** I have to warn you that this fic maybe seems confused in the beginning, things will become clear later. So, be patient. There's a new character in this fic that I've created him by myself.

" blah blah blah " : People's talking

_blah blah blah _: Flashback

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**Turn back time**

**Chapter 1 :His Return**

Akira wished he could turn back time. But it was too late now.

It began that day…

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At Japan Association Building

"Shindou,"

"Touya? And Touya-sensei!" Hikaru bowed quickly.

"You've got a fever?" Actually, Akira didn't need to ask this question, it was so clear that Hikaru had a fever. His face was red by the heat of the fever and he coughed all the time. It was a miracle that he was still standing under this condition.

"You shouldn't push yourself too hard." It had been a while since the former Meijin had come to the association, so today he'd decided to visit some higher dan players.

"Sensei! I've just finished my game, so I'll go home now," Hikaru bowed again.

After taking a few steps, though, Hikaru collapsed on the floor.

Akira ran to him immediately. " Shindou! Shindou!" He shook Hikaru's shoulders trying to wake him up. " Shindou!"

"Don't! Let me take care of him," A man's hand caught Akira's.

Akira didn't know this man. He hadn't seen him before. The stranger was a good-looking tall young man in a black suit which complemented his black hair, but made a striking contrast with his pale white face complexion.

"We should move him somewhere else," the stranger said calmly, seeming to know how to deal with the situation.

"This way." Kouyo led him to the empty game room.

Akira and he carried Hikaru following Kouyo together.

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Later,

"He'll be fine, don't worry." the stranger informed them with a relief, after checking Hikaru's condition.

"Thank you,sir. But...who are you? Are you a doctor? Do you know Shindou?" Akira quickly asked three question in a roll .

"My name is Takamiya Kenji. I'm Hikaru's doctor," he introduced himself to the Touyas.

"You're his doctor?" Akira asked to be sure.

"Yes, I am. Ah! I should've have known better. I told him to rest but he didn't listen. He never listens to anyone" Kenji mumbled. "He has been sick since yesterday and…oh!"

The faint boy had woken up. Kenji assisted him to get up.

"I can get up by myself, Doctor Takamiya."

Kenji's slim body was trembling as soon as he heard the boy called him ' Doctor Takamiya' instead of ' Ken-chan'.

"Sai?"

Both Touyas's eyes were wide by that name…The name " Sai".

"Yes, it's me," Sai replied.

"It's been a while since you went to **sleep**. Where's Hikaru?" the young doctor asked, concerned.

"Don't worry, he's **sleeping** now. He just needs the rest," Sai said as he stood up. The Touya were speechless; they didn't know what was going on. They were just standing there anxiously.

"Where are you going?" Kenji asked, still worried.

"I'm going to take him home so he can rest peacefully." Sai was turning a door knob when Akira grabbed his hand hastily.

"Wait! Shindou! What's going on! You've told me that you're not Sai!" Akira yelled at him. He couldn't believe that Hikaru had lied to him.

"**Do not touch me**" Sai warned Akira angrily. He looked at Akira coldly. It made Akira's blood ran cold. Akira had never seen this look before, and it scared him. He let go of Sai's hand.

"Goodbye, Doctor Takamiya,Touya, Touya-sensei." Then Sai left the room.

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**A/N:** I think maybe some of you know what's going on, don't you?

**Special Thank:** rebecca-chan, thank you for beta-ing


	2. His Birth

**Disclaimer :** I don't own Hikaru no GO but Obata and Hotta Yumi do.

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**Chapter 2 : His Birth**

Kenji became their target now. Father and son looked at him seriously; they wanted some explanations. Finally, Kouyo asked Kenji.

"Could you tell us what's going on?"

"It's between my and my patient. I can't tell you anything. I'm sorry."

"But I have the right to know!" Akira raised his voice. Actually, he didn't have any rights, and he knew that too. But he wanted to know. The boy who has just walked out the room wasn't the same Shindou that he knew so well. He was very confused and slightly terrified.

"May I ask, who you are?"

"My name is Touya Akira and this is my father, Touya Kouyo." The ex-Meijin nodded.

Kenji froze after hearing their names. He was uncomfortable by this dilemma. First, he didn't say a word but Akira kept staring at him, pressuring him. In the end, he gave up. "May-maybe, the two of you should know," he hesitated. " I'm telling you this because I'm Hikaru's friend, not his doctor."

"Please," Akira pushed him.

Kenji took a deep breath. "I've known Hikaru since we were little, Hikaru, Akari and I grew up together," he began the story. "Has he ever told you why he started to play Go?"

Neither of the Touyas knew.

"When he was 12, his grandfather told him that he would give him 1000 Yen if Hikaru could beat him in a game of Go." Kenji laughed a bit. " Yeah, that was the reason. After that, he read many books about Go. Until one day….he met you." he turned to Akira.

"Me?" Akira asked, stunned. He was pretending to be surprised; he already knew that he was the first one Hikaru had played Go with.

"Yeah, I still remember it, like it happened only yesterday…."

…_Kenji's Flashback ..._

"_Ken-chan,Ken-chan"_

"_What is it now? Hikaru"_

"Today I met a boy at the Go salon near the station," Hikaru jumped into Kenji's bed.

"_And?" _

"_Don't you get it? This is so cool! I thought only old people played Go. But now I have a friend who's the same age!"_

"_Congratulations, then."_

"_Thanks."_

"_Who is he anyway?"_

"_Touya, Touya Akira"_

_...End of Flashback..._

Akira remembered well what had happened that day. It was the first day that the blond boy had come into his life, turning his whole world upside down. That evening he had returned home and locked himself in his bedroom to recreate that game.

"That's what he told me when he first met you. But then…"

…_Kenji's Flashback…_

"_Please ,Kenji-kun, Please talk to him!" Shindou Mitsuko begged him, crying. "He won't tell me anything!"_

"_I'll talk to him."_

"_Hikaru?" Kenji knocked on the door. "Hikaru, it's me, Ken-chan, Can I come in?" Hikaru didn't answer so he went in._ "_Hikaru, what happened?"_

"_I met Touya again." Hikaru has been crying. His voice was still shaking and his eyes hurt._

" _And?" Kenji sat next to him._

" _We played Go together."_

"_I see. And then?"_

"_I won. I slaughtered him. He lost completely." _

"_You won. And what's wrong with that?"_

"_Don't you get it! I crushed him! I ruined his pride!" Hikaru grabbed him tightly._

"_Hikaru…"_

"_You have to see him by yourself, he was so sad, I could feel it. I caused him great pain. I've never seen anyone that sad before!" Hikaru's eyes were haunted. He was so horrified._

"_Hikaru!" Kenji was starting to panic. Hikaru couldn't control himself anymore._

"_It's my fault! My fault! Mine! I shouldn't have won! Yeah, if I hadn't won, he wouldn't have been that sad. Yeah , that's right. I just shouldn't win...." Then Hikaru lost his consciousness._

_...Flashback ended..._

"Sai was born that day," Kenji said stiffly. "I haven't told this anyone before, not even his parents or Akari."

" I don't understand," Akira said dazedly.

Unlike him, his father understood clearly but was wishing he was wrong. Unfortunately, he wasn't.

"Touya-kun, Sai is another Hikaru," Kenji said slowly.

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**A/N:** Poor Hikaru

**Special Thank:** rebecca-chan, thank for your beta-ing

**Kitten :** Here,as you request :D Welcome back,you haven't commented me again since "I'll be back" chapter 1, I think you stop reading me fic :( Gladto see you again

**cry wolf :** Hi! Ok, I'll update everyday 'coz I've finished this fic already!

**aj :** Thanks for your comment, but don't forget that this is not the same Hikaru and Sai, you'll know what I mean.


	3. Their Bonds

**Disclaimer :** I don't own Hikaru no Go but Obata and Hotta Yumi do.

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**Chapter 3 : Their Bonds**

"Do you mean he split his personalities?" Kouyo questioned.

"What!" Akira cried out.

"Yes, you can say that," Kenji seemed to be thoughtful. " They used to be the same person but then Hikaru became scared."

"Scared? Of what?" Kouyo kept asking. Akira was trembling; he thought he might know what Hikaru has been afraid of.

Kenji glanced at Akira before answering. "Of winning…against you, Touya-kun"

Akira was breathless. His covered his mouth with a shaking hand. He hadn't known about this before. He didn't know that he was not the only one who had suffered from that game, he had only thought about himself. He hadn't known that he'd caused Hikaru such misery.

"What do you mean?" Kouyo didn't know much about their games. All he knew was that there had been a boy who had won against his son. Twice.

"Touya-kun was his first friend in the Go world, he couldn't stand the fact that he has hurt his friend," Kenji clarified.

"So he created Sai," Touya senior concluded.

"Well…I'd rather say that they split, or separated, into two personas: Sai and Hikaru," Kenji took a breath before he continued again. "Sai got all the talent while Hikaru was left with none. So, Hikaru had to learn everything from zero. They both loved Go-especially together. That's how Sai became Hikaru's teacher. You played with him as the third board during a school tournament, right?" he asked Akira.

"Y-yes," Akira woke up from his thoughts. He couldn't believe this. He had never heard about any of this before.

"Didn't you wonder why he played so poorly in the second half of the game?"

"Actually, I've been wondering all the time," Akira admitted.

"You played with both of them: Hikaru knew that you wanted to play with Sai so he let Sai play. But when you were getting close to losing, he couldn't help himself; he didn't want to hurt you again. So Hikaru asked Sai to back off and played against you by himself," Kenji revealed.

"That's why he started playing badly," Akira whispered to himself.

"That's right."

"Can I ask you something?" Kouya interrupted. "I've read an article about double personalities once. They said that a patient who got this...condition," the ex-Meijin wasn't sure what to call it, "A patient would become entirely different person when one of his personalities gained control. They wouldn't be able to remember what the other had done. There for, not only that Hikaru and Sai shouldn't be able to talk to each other but Hikaru shouldn't even realize that Sai exists."

"Well…usually, it's just like you said. But for their case, it's different," Kenji answered.

"How so?" asked Akira, although he didn't quite follow their conversation but he wanted to know everything about Shindou…or Hikaru….or Sai. Right now, he wasn't even sure how to call the boy who changed his life.

"As I said, Hikaru didn't created Sai, he divided into two personas: Hikaru and Sai. Can't you see the difference? Creating means you make something new. Dividing means you separate something into pieces. When you cut a cake, the pieces of it are still one cake. They are still the same thing. Do you understand?" Kenji wasn't sure if Akira could catch on the explanation.

" I..I guess so." Akira nodded. Then Kenji went on.

"So, they were one person before. Then they separated but they're still a part of each other, something tying them together. They have their own thoughts, their own personalities but they share their souls and their memories too," Kenji told them.

"I don't understand," Akira was lost again.

"I don't expect you to understand. It's very complicated."

"Please, we need to know," Akira begged.

"Well…If you're talking with Hikaru, Sai's there too but he remains silent. They are **awake** at the same time," Kenji tried his best to explain.

"So, there is two of Shindou-kun. The one we're talking to is Hikaru, while Sai just watches us?" Kouyo summarized.

"You're right. Sai is Hikaru's ghost, a shadow."

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**A/N :** My friend suggests me that I should try many various type, so I'll know which type I like the most. At first, I intended to write a romantic story but it didn't work. I'm not a romantic person.

**Special Thank:** rebecca-chan, who betaed this chapther

**Ice-Ari :** In fact,the name of this fic is a Huge spoiler.

**CPAnthoni :** Yes, you're right. I'm not a native English speaker. Plus, I really hate grammar class. That's why I have a lot of grammar problems :(

**siodhn01 : **Glad you enjoy it


	4. His love for him

Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no Go but Obata and Hotta Yumi do.

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**Chapter 4: His Love for him**

"_If you keep chasing my shadow, I'll catch you instead."_ Akira just realized the true meaning of Hikaru's word.

"That's why Sai knows Touya-san even though you've never met …not physically, anyway."

"But you mentioned something about **sleeping**.**"** Kouyo had a good memory indeed.

"Well, sometimes one of them will sleep. Just like today, Hikaru fainted so Sai come out taking over. In this case, Hikaru, who is now sleeping, won't be able to know what Sai said to you." Kenji explained.

"From what I've seen, Sai isn't the only genius; Hikaru is too. He's fast learner. Plus, Sai taught him well. Hikaru's always thankful for that. He felt guilty that Sai didn't play Go as much as him." Kenji continued the story. "But to tell you the truth, Sai didn't mind at all."

…_Kenji's Flashback…_

"_Aren't you mad at him? He always the one in control." Kenji asked Sai when Hikaru was sleeping._

"_Never, I love Go, but I love Hikaru more. In fact, I love him more than anything in this world. Nothing can compare my love for him. If he wants to be the one in control, so be it. I don't mind if I can't play Go ever again. I'll play when he wants me to. I just want him to be happy. Hikaru is all that matters to me." Sai wasn't a talkative guy...except when he talked about Hikaru._

…_End of Flashback…_

"But Hikaru still felt guilty so he tried very hard to find a way for Sai to play Go."

"Net-Go." Things became clearer in Akira's mind.

"Yes, it seemed fair enough back then. Hikaru played with his friends and Sai played on the net. Until, he met you again," Kenji sighed tiredly.

"Me?" Akira didn't remember what he had done. He was very confident that he hadn't done anything that would've hurt Hikaru.

"Yes. You insulted him, didn't you? Something along the line of 'You're not worthy' or something like that. He hated being insulted. So, he became an insei to prove to you that he was worthy of being your rival and your friend." Kenji stated firmly.

"Friend?" Akira said dumpily. At the time, he had really hated Hikaru. Why would he want to be his friend?

"Surprised? He thought as you as a friend, always friend."

"Being an insei was good for them. They have never been happier. Hikaru was surrounded by his insei friends with Sai by his side. Hikaru was happy, and so Sai was. Days went by, he became a pro…and then he met you." This time Kenji glanced at Kouyo.

"Me?" Kouyo had thought he didn't have anything to do with this story.

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**My confession :** Writing this fic is harder than "I'll be back", I accept. Because it's a flashback, I'm so confused with the grammar and Tenses. I know that there're many mistakes. You're free to correct me, send me an e-mail , I'm all ears. I told my friend that I had a problem with grammar, Do you know what she said? She laughed and said, " I'm not surprise, you can't even speak your own language!"

**Special Thank: rebecca, my beta**

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**mikaii-chama :** Of course, I'll. You know my policy :)

**Ice-Ari :** If you have ever read " I'll be back" ,you'll know what I mean.

**Lessi : **Thanks

**kathystgqvk : **Always gald to see your name on the list, telling you a secret, my next fic will be a suspense.


	5. His Departure

Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no Go but Obata and Hotta Yumi do.

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**Chapter 5 : His Departure**

"Hikaru was the one who set up the game between you and Sai, wasn't he?" Kenji asked Kouyo even though he already knew. But Akira hadn't heard of this before. His father had kept silent all these years, he told nobody. Not even him, his own son.

"Yes, he came to visit me at the hospital when I had a heart attack. He told me that his friend wanted to play a game with me but he could only play on the net," Kouyo told his side of the story.

"He just wanted to find Sai a challenging rival. Then you lost and retired."

"That is correct."

"Hikaru blamed himself. He didn't want you to retire. He admired you a lot. And...it happened again." Kenji exhaled despondently.

…_Kenji's Flashback…_

"_I did it again! Now with Touya-sensei! It's my fault! My fault!" Hikaru exploded; he was out of control again._

"_It's not your fault! Hikaru, calm down!" Kenji said sternly and grabbed Hikaru's elbows tightly, trying to get him to listen._

"_I knew that Sai would win. I foresaw it! But I still set the game! And now Touya-sensei will retire!" It was just like that day when Sai was born, like a bad déjà vu: Hikaru's eyes were haunted and he was sitting on his bed, hugging his knees desperately. He kept rocking forward and back, forward and back…_

"_NO. Hikaru! Look at me. Look at me! Listen to me!" Kenji didn't want it to happen again. He had sworn that he would never ever let it happen again. But there was nothing he could do. Then Hikaru collapsed and the story repeated itself all over again._

…_End of Flashback…_

Now it was Kouyo's turn to be frozen in shock. As his son, he hadn't known that he'd such a great impact to the boy's life. All he had thought of was Sai, always Sai. Who Sai was? How to play with Sai again? How to win against Sai? Sai…Sai…Sai. Not in the tiniest corner of his mind had he ever thought of the boy who brought him his lifetime rival.

"When Hikaru woke up, Sai disappeared. He had decided to **sleep** and to not **wake up** ever again." Kenji returned to the story.

"Why?" Akira was the one who asked because now his dad seemed to be in his own world.

…_Kenji's Flashback…_

"_Doctor Takamiya, I'll go now. Please take care of him and look after him for me," Sai said sadly. Kenji was shocked by this and the way Sai looked. Sai was usually a very emotionless guy, but this time his expression was heartbreaking._

"_What do you mean? Where are you going?"_

"_I'm going to __**sleep**__ and never __**wake up**__ again," answered Sai painfully._

"_What! Why?"_

"_I'm only harm for Hikaru. I should be the one to protect him, but instead I keep hurting him."_

"_What are you talking about? You're always protecting him! No one loves him more than you! You've never hurt him!" Kenji was bewildered by Sai's word._

"_And what about what just happened now? If I hadn't won against the Meijin, Hikaru wouldn't be so upset."_

"_It's not your fault either! Damn it! Don't you guys get it! It's no one's fault! Touya-sensei decided that by himself! Why can't you two understand?!" Kenji yelled angrily._

"_He's always thinking of me. I've told him many times to do as he wants but he never listens. He wants us to be happy together. He tries very hard to do everything for me while I can't do anything for him. I'm always being his burden," Sai told him._

"_That's not true! He's never thought of you that way! And he will never do!"_

"_Yes, he has a good heart, doesn't he? That's why I love him so much," Sai smiled forlornly. "But I do nothing, except hold him back. That's the reason I should go."_

"_You can't go! Who's going to teach him the game? Who will play with him!" Kenji tried to reason with Sai._

"_He's getting better every single day. He doesn't want me anymore. He can walk to the Hand of God alone without me."_

"_Forget about that damn Hand of God! What about Hikaru himself? Don't you care how he would feel? How much he will be hurt? If you love him, you must stay here and protect him yourself, instead of asking me to do it for you!" Kenji was not going to let Sai go. Hikaru had been suffering too much through these years._

"_Time will heal him. He'll forget me soon," Sai said with an air of finality. "Promise me to take care of him and to protect him…" Then Sai was gone and Hikaru woke up._

"_I can't hear Sai. That's weird. Do you think he's sleeping?" Hikaru asked Kenji naïvely._

…_End of Flashback…_

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**A/N :** As you can see, I'm not a big fan of The Touyas. I tried to write a fic about Ogata but I didn't know much about him. That's why Finding Seiji is only 2 shots..but I like it a lot.

**Special Thank:** rebecca, my faithful reader and my beta

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**Legit :** The ring 2? Hahaha, that's good one! if I write a horror, I'll put your name in the Thank list :)

**kathystgqvk : **Yeah, I got a plot for the new fic. My friend likes a romantic comedy so I decide to write her one but I don't know why..it turn out be a suspense. What's wrong with me? By the way, Good luck for your exam :D


	6. His last secret

Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no Go but Obata and Hotta Yumi do.

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**Chapter 6 : His last secret**

"After I told him about Sai's departure. Hikaru went frantic. He called Sai but Sai didn't answer. He kept calling and calling, but Sai remained silent. Hikaru thought it was his fault because he had dominated most of the time so Sai hadn't had a chance to play that much."

"So he decided to stop playing," Akira whispered.

"Yes, he thought if he didn't play, Sai would come back."

"That's when he has missed all his games," Kouyo added.

"Yes."

"Why did he start playing again? Did Sai finally come back?" Akira asked. This question would reveal all mystery of Shindou Hikaru.

"No. Sai has n't been **awake** since, not until today."

"Then why?" Then Kenji disclosed the last secret.

"There was a guy…he's a pro too. Umm…Isu…Isumu?" Kenji didn't remember the name.

"Isumi-san?" Akira knew Isumi; he was one of Hikaru's friend.

"Yes. Isumi. He came to visit Hikaru asking for a game, just one game for his sake."

"What did Shindou do?" Akira asked impatiently.

"He played with him. Then he realized that Sai was still with him, Sai was in his Go. As long as he played Go, Sai would always be with him," Kenji smiled softly.

"Then he came back to the Go world," Kouyo ended the story.

"Yes."

The three of them sat in silence without speaking to consider all this.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you but it's no use crying over spilt milk. I have to leave now." Kenji stood up, heading to the door. But before he walked out the room, he paused.

"Ironic, isn't it? Touya Junoir was the reason Sai was brought to life while Touya Senoir was the reason he disappeared." Then Kenji left.

Both Touyas lacked the power to say anything. They remained still, sitting without saying a word.

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**A/N :** hmm..this chapter is very short, isn't it? I think the reason I prefer a short chapter because I read manga too much. Compare to novel, manga is shorter, right? In manga, there is about 12 pages-long in a chapter only.

**Special Thank:** rebecca

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**kathystgqvk : **thank you, I think that most of people like "I'll be beck" for the same reason. But for myself, I like "Finding Seiji" especailly chapter 2.

**Rianna : **You'll know soon. I mean VERY SOON.


	7. His last question and his belated answer

Disclaimer : I don't own Hikaru no Go but Obata and Hotta Yumi do.

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**Chapter 7 : His last question and his belated answer**

The following day, at Akira's Go salon

"Touya!" Akira looked up from the goban as soon as he heard that familiar voice.

"S-Shindou" Akira stammered. He didn't know how to react after everything he had found out.

"Hi!" Hikaru greeted him brightly as usual.

"Y-you recovered from your fever?" Akira didn't know how to face Hikaru, so he looked at the goban instead.

"Yap."

"Tha-that's good." Akira continue to avoid Hikaru's eyes.

"Touya?"

"Y-yes?"

"…."

In the morning, Hikaru had woken up on his bed in his bedroom. The last thing he remembered was the cold floor of the association. He had wondered how he had come back home. He asked his mother what had happened, but she had been confused, telling him that the previous day he had just gone to bed as soon as he had arrived home. Hikaru knew in that second what had happened. If he had lost his awareness but managed to come home safely by himself, it only meant one thing: Sai had **woken up** and brought him home. Of course, he has been glad that his another part hadfinally come back. But his happiness vanished right after he tried to call Sai but didn't get any reply then he realized that Sai was going to talk to him again.

Now, Akira was acting weird…very weird. He seemed uneasy. If Sai had woken up the day before and Akira was acting like this. It only meant one thing; Akira had met Sai!

"You met him, didn't you?" Hikaru asked quietly.

"Shindou..I…I"

"Let's have a walk," Hikaru stood up and left the Go salon waiting for Akira outside.

They ended up at the nearest park. Akira told Hikaru everything what Kenji had told him.

"Your dad knows too? Ken-chan has a big mouth, hasn't he?" Hikaru laughed awkwardly. He didn't know what to say next. Now two persons that he didn't want them to know the truth the most knew everything.

" Shindou,I.."

" Don't! Please. Just…don't," Hikaru cut Akira's word off. Akira knew he shouldn't push him too hard so he kept silent.

Then Hikaru decided it was time to ask Akira the question that bothered him all along.

"Touya…Who do you want to play with? Me? Or Sai?"

Akira turned to him immediately. For him, Sai was the strongest player he had ever played against. He was the one he had been chasing, the one he had always dreamt of. Hikaru was a strong player too…but compared to Sai, Hikaru was…

"You've chosen," Hikaru choked out, almost crying. He thought that he had already erased Sai from Akira's mind. He hoped that Akira would tell him without any hesitation that he was Akira's eternal rival, that he was the one Akira wanted to play with for the rest of his life. But Akira didn't say anything, he hesitated. This meant….

"It's him. It's him that you want, not me. It was him. It has always been him and will always be him."

"Shindou,I..I" Akira wanted to protest but deep inside knew that Hikaru was right. Sai was a stronger player, and if he had to choose a partner to walk to the Hand of God together, he should choose the strongest one, right?

Hikaru hugged Akira tightly, as tight as he could, as if it was the last time he could. "Thanks for everything, my dear friend. We'll always friends. Don't ever forget that. Friends…forever"

"Shindou, what do you mean?" Then it happened: Hikaru fell down on the ground, as if dead. "Shindou!" Akira found a teardrop on Hikaru's cheek.

Since that day Hikaru never **woke up** again. Kenji told Akira that Hikaru had decided to **sleep** forever because he thought that it was Sai everyone wanted-that **Akira** wanted, so there was no reason for him to exist anymore.

Once again, the story repeated itself, almost like a curse. But this time it was Sai who called Hikaru day and night, but never got any answer. Hikaru was sleeping now.

Akira was right. Sai was the strongest player the Go world had ever experienced. After Sai came back, Shindou-pro became much much stronger… even stronger than him. Everyone was curious, especially his friends, who wanted to know how he could become this strong in such a short time. In the same time, they were overjoy that the new wave had finally come.

No one knew the truth about Hikaru, except for three persons: Akira, his father and Kenji.

Akira played with Sai sometimes. He thought that some day one Sai might reach the Hand of God. No, he was sure that Sai could reach it. Playing with Sai made Akira become a stronger player too. Touya Akira and Shindou Hikaru (Sai) would be the two brightest stars shining for the next generation.

But Sai didn't laugh the way Hikaru did. In fact Sai had never laughed. Sai didn't dress the way Hikaru dressed either; he dressed only in black. Sai was always polite and placid. He had never yelled at Akira or anyone the way Hikaru used to. Sai's eyes were green just like Hikaru but they were different. When Akira used to look into Hikaru's eyes, he found …life? Sometimes Hikaru's eyes had reflected the greatest sorrow, but they could reflect the greatest happiness too. But Sai's eyes reflected nothing but emptiness. Sometimes Hikaru had fallen down but had never given up, he had always found out a way to stand up again. But Sai had never fallen. Akira thought both of them were strong but felt that Sai's strength was too strong, too cold. It was a strength that didn't belong to a human.

It was then Akira realized that he had been mistaken. The one he had been waiting for all his life, the one he had always dreamt of, the one he wanted to play with for the rest of his life wasn't Sai. It was Hikaru. He now wished he had told Hikaru that. He wished he could turn back time but it was too late now. He had already lost Hikaru. All he could do was to just hope that one day Hikaru would wake up again.

"And this time I'll tell him. I'll tell him everything. And I will never let him go again."

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**Special Thanks: **rebecca who likes this fic much enough to help me revise it.

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**Legit :** Thank you, I'll continue working.

**Firehedehog :** Glad you enjoy

**pure reflection : **here, is the last chapter. Hey, I have the same problem. My PC doesn't allow me to put a review too.

**kathystqgvk : **Reading your comment really makes my day : ) Do you know Spiral? The next fic will be a crossover. I'll take a few break before I post it. It'll be longer than this one but shorter than "I'll be back".

**About the sequel of "I'll be back",** I think I'll write it SOMEDAY. Writing a sequel is harder than I thought. It's like when we watch a movie ; No matter how good the 1st part is we want more for the 2nd part. Which is fair enough 'coz there's no point to make a sequel if it's worse than the 1st part. I know that if I write the sequel most of you want it to be a light humor just like " I'll be back". But it's hard to do that from the way Akira reactedin theend, if Yongha comes back, things will be more complicated. If I write it, it'll become more **dramatic.** Can you guys accept that?

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**A/N :** I know that many of you want me to write more about what happens to Sai and Akira after Hikaru has decided to sleep but I like it this way. Don't be angry, ok? And this Sai isn't our lovelly ghost, he is just another personality.

Besides, the theme is** "Turn back time**", that's why I focus on the Past more than Present.

Poor Akira, he's already gotten what he wants but he didn't notice that until he lost it :(


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